Attending a meetup can be a little overwhelming, especially if you are new to it or have made the brave decision to go alone.
It will naturally feel a little awkward and getting in on conversations can seem like an intimidating prospect.
When you see people already deep in conversation, it can be hard to even consider interrupting because it will feel rude, but if there’s one occasion where you can get away with it, it’s at one of our relaxed socials
The reality is, you (and everyone else) are there to meet new people, so having the confidence to get in on the conversation is a far better idea than standing alone at the bar all evening.
I often get asked about etiquette and how to get in on the conversation without appearing rude, so I thought I would share a few tips that I’ve picked up along the way.
5 fool proof ways to get in on the conversation at a meetup
1. Observe
You’re already feeling a little nervous and overwhelmed so before jumping in, take a moment to breathe and observe the room. Look for body language cues to see if the conversation is open to newcomers.
There will naturally be groups forming. You should be able to clearly define between the groups who are closed and those who are open. Always head to the friendlier, more open groups of people.
Not that I’m saying other groups won’t be friendly, it may just be that they have found their footing a little quicker and are already in a deeper conversation.
2. It’s not always rude to interrupt
This is a tricky one and will feel clunky at first. But remember, if people are talking in groups, no one would expect you to stand on the outside looking in. It’s perfectly reasonable to try and integrate yourself into the conversation. The question is, how?
If you’re trying to integrate yourself into a group, you have two options.
1 – Your smile is everything! Confidently walk up to the group, smile, wait for the acknowledgment and then introduce yourself. Perhaps a simple, ‘I’m ______, is it ok to interrupt?’
2 – Listen for a moment and wait for an opportunity to join in the conversation. When there’s a gap, jump in and share your opinion or thoughts on the topic.
Our socials attract the loveliest of people anyway, so you’ll be made to feel very welcome and involved.
Move along!
Not very many social events do this, but we do. We have a bell system which means that you will have a set amount of time (usually around 30 minutes) to engage in conversation. When the bell rings, you are encouraged to move along and chat to others.
Sometimes, you may find yourself having the best conversation and feel reluctant to leave but as far as our member etiquette is concerned, it’s the way it is, so my suggestion would be to indicate you would like to catch up again later, and make your way back at an appropriate time.
Trust me when I say you will have the chance to meet again. It’s the name of the game but it shouldn’t be something that holds up others or prevents the event from moving forward. And if you don’t get to continue the conversation during the meetup, you can connect via your online account afterwards.
Have a good conversation starter at the ready
Bin the old classics! You don’t have to go in with ‘what’s your name?’ or ‘where are you from?’. This is the ideal opportunity for you to stand out, so come up with some opening questions beforehand and show that you are interested and interesting.
Think outside the box. Open questions tend to be a conversation starter, whilst closed questions will give you one word answers and nowhere to go.
Consider questions such as,
- How do you usually spend your weekend?
- What’s the most memorable trip you’ve ever been on?
- How did you get into your current line of work?
- What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?
What you need to remember is that everyone there is there to meet new people (the same reason you’re there), and that others might be experiencing the same nervous feelings that you are feeling.
It’s expected that people will want to join in the conversation mid way through, so you’ll not be doing anything that everyone else there hasn’t done before you.
My biggest tip though is to be brave. If you have taken the bold step of attending the event in the first place, then now is not the time to be a wallflower. This is your time to be confident, shine and stand out as the amazing person you are.
Go get ‘em Tiger!
